My other hand takes his shaft, a comfortable job for one hand leaving perhaps a half inch at the base and the glans at the top. I’m careful not to stimulate more than necessary but even the touch of my hands causes Jimmy’s knees to buckle and his hands to move suddenly, one to the wall and one to my shoulder for support. He stares down at me open mouthed, I watch as it closes, teeth clenched as he swallows, clearly trying to restrain his ejaculation. I pull back his foreskin and use the hand that was on his sack to swab around the glans and remove the dribble of half-dried semen and small amounts of ... other matter. It’s actually not too bad and at least doesn’t smell noticeably. I’m faced with a decision now: do I blow him right now, trusting to teenage hormones to have him going again pretty soon, or do I try and hold him back until I’m ready to let him fuck me? I decide on the former, evidence so far suggesting it takes very little to get little Jimmy interested. That decided I. My head fell, my shoulders followed, my forehead hitting my hands on the table, cupping my face. Tears sprang from my eyes, my nose ran. ‘I miss them.’ I cried openly. ‘God I miss them and I need them and I’m never going to see them again and it’s all my goddamn fault!!’ =============================================== I stood in the hallway looking at Calebs door. The door seemed like the final step between sanity and insanity. A six foot high symbol of what’s left in my life, go through and be changed, stay here and remain as I am, possibly capture what left of my life and use it as best I can. If I go through, nothing’s going to protect Kavork from me if he’s in there. Nothing. My soul is nearly broken, I’ll make his body match that. I’ll do much worse. God help the son of a bitch. So I knocked. Something smashed in the kitchen, a cup or plate or something, it sounded like it was thrown. I heard another, then a giant crash of multiple objects. Then, a strange gurgling sound..
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